Life Moves On

I know many of you have been worried about me, and I appreciate the concern. The last few months have been hard for me and I have a slight problem with reaching out for help. I tend keep things inside until I'm ready to burst. Let the bursting begin....

As many of you know, Ben and I have been working on our marriage... we have now made the final decision to divorce. This decision did not come lightly. We feel that we did all we could to keep it together, and, we know for a fact that we are making the right choice. I also know that this decision is not going to make life any easier...and in many, many ways it will become much more difficult. We both know that we have some major bumps in the road to happiness, but feel that we are on the right path. We are ending as friends, and I intend to do all I can to keep it that way.

It is funny how all the good memories came flooding in after the decision was made, almost as if all the unhappy ones had been erased. And we do have millions of good memories. We lived laughed and loved for 15 years. In that time Ben did everything in his power to give the girls and I a good life. He took care of our needs and worked hard to make sure we were happy. He was by my side through every last one of my never ending medical issues. Caring for me after every surgery, rubbing my back when I got tense, just wanting to ease my pain, sitting up all night long after my open heart surgery to push my morphine button because I was in too much pain and too delusional to figure it out...the list goes on and on. I am grateful for the time we had, and I would not trade any of it. I loved, I was loved and those memories will remain forever.

I now have to learn to stand on my own...for me and for my girls. I know it won't be easy, and I know that some days will be harder than others... I know I can do it. I know that life goes on.

Still Looking

I seem to have lost sight of those elusive blue skies.

When It Rains.....

it pours...and pours...and then pours some more.

I'm coming up for air...taking a deep breathe and looking at the blue skies ahead that come when you live and love life and appreciate everything that is thrown at you.

Where Did The Time Go?

Today was Savannah's 5th grade Promotion Ceremony. The entire 5th grade class was asked to write a speech and 2 were chosen to read theirs at the Ceremony, Savannah was one of them. I am so very proud of that girl. She is the person I strive to be.

I managed to hold it together until the very end of the Ceremony. After all the awards and certificates had been handed out they called up the Mother of the little girl who had been killed last week so that she could accept the Promotion certificate on behalf of her daughter. The entire audience stood and clapped for her. I lost it. It once again reminded me that life is short, and I wanted so badly to run up and hug Savannah and make sure that she knows how amazing she is, and how very proud of her I am for being such an outstanding little girl.

After the ceremony I went to speak to Savannah's teacher, to thank her for being everything Savannah needed in a 5th grade teacher. She leaned in close and with tears in her eyes said, "It has been a joy to have your daughter in my class." Then she got choked up and said, "She is the one I will cry over this year. I am going to miss her, you have an amazing little girl...you should be proud." I once again was brought to tears. What in the world did I do to deserve such an outstanding daughter? I hope she knows how much I love and respect her.


Savannah's Speech:

Good morning parents, Mr. Dixon, teachers, and fellow fifth-grade students. We are all here today to celebrate the 5th graders achievements, to watch each other’s wings soar and shine in the sunlight. Somehow, I ended up in this school, and somehow, all of you did too. We’ve come so far. Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? When you didn’t know things as simple as addition? It is because of your teachers, that now, we are smart and ready to move on. I know that most of you would compare tests to garbage, but without them where would we be? I would like to thank all the parents for all their hard work, especially mine. They helped me climb that staircase and are still helping. What an amazing set of stairs. How would I have ever made it to Astro camp, the 5th grade pool party, or even to this school? It is because of each one of you parents that we 5th graders have come so far. And I know that for a fact. I would also like to thank all the teachers for everything we’ve learned. What would our purpose be to come to school if you weren’t here? All the friends I’ve made here helped me (like the song says) reach for the stars even higher. Many are happy to be leaving Elementary school, and many are sad. I am in between. I am sad to be leaving because I won’t be able to come back. “Teacher,“ will be “Teachers.” “Piece of cake,” will be “Hard as a rock.” But, I know everybody has to move on, now is my time. Finally, I would like to thank Mr. Dixon. I know he’s new to the school, but he has helped the whole school rise to another level. Thank you everybody for helping me stand in this spot today.

Giving her speech

Receiving the President's Education Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence
....it was signed by President Obama.

Being recognized for being on honor roll all 3 semesters

Receiving her 5ht Grade Promotion Certificate

Mrs Tapley, her teacher

Mr. Dixon, the Principal

Savannah and her friends

Savannah and I went out for lunch...I asked her where she wanted to go
and she said Sushi...That's my girl!!

Ode to 33...I'm Not Giving You Up

33 was an insane year...but I'm not quite ready to give it up. It may be my Birthday tomorrow...but I think that 33 sounds good and I will just stay here for a while.

Last year I didn't ask for much....33rd Birthday Wish List

My 32nd Birthday Wish List was a bit extravagant... but what can I say. I'm worth it!

My 33 x's 2 Birthday Wish List (I told you I'm not claiming 34!) will be a bit more simple. Times are tough...and here is what I want most:

1. To start taking more photo's each day and actually focus on improving my photography skills.

2. To be a little bit less grumpy, a lot more motivated, a ton more organized and a hell of a lot more energetic every day.

3. To follow my own advice and just be Happy!

Now, if money were not an object....I would add:

1. To send Savannah to the Summer Young Writers Camp in San Marcos. She is an extremely talented writer and I think she would thoroughly enjoy this.

2. To send all the girls to Summer Camp on Catalina Island....because they have never gone to summer camp and I think they would have a blast!

3. To sign each of the girls up for the sport of their choice. Savannah & Cassidy: Volleyball. Payton: Soccer.

4. Two days at Disneyland & California Adventure. I LOVE, Love, Love Disneyland, that place makes me happy. It has been 5 years since we have gone and Payton and Cassidy don't even remember it. I also want to stay at the Disneyland Hotel for at least 1 night...this has always been a dream of mine.

5. To have the circulation issues in my legs taken care of. I am a walking time bomb for a blood clot...and my legs have never been more painful, swollen and ugly.

Easter 2009

So, it's a bit late...Easter morning brought an egg hunt at home...then the girls and I packed up and headed to Torrance to spend the day with my family (sans Josh, Cally & their brood)...all in all it was a fabulous day!

Perspective

The Raisor family has had a rough year. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, gone down more windy roads than I would like to see in a lifetime, and have many, many more ahead. In life we are constantly faced with choices. Starting when the alarm goes off in the morning until our head hits the pillow at night....our lives can be altered drastically by just one of the thousands of decisions we make each day.

Over the last few weeks I have found myself pondering life, and, I've realized that no matter where we are in life, what hardships we are being faced with, what choices we have to make, we have the ability to decide for ourselves whether we are happy or sad...is life good or bad? It's all in our own perspective.

As it is with many people around the world, money is very tight right now. Ben has been out of a job for several months. With no income and many, many bills....the little amount of money we did have dried up quickly. It has changed the way we live our day to day lives, luxuries that were once considered "needs" have become "wants", and things I would have never thought twice about spending money on have become dreams. I have 3 daughters that want to play sports, but soccer and volleyball take money. Savannah is moving on to 6th grade next year and wants to try out for Show Choir and Drill Team, both of which take considerable amounts of money. On top of that we still do not have health insurance and going to the Dr. is out of the question. Ben nearly sliced his finger off and had to go without stitches, Payton is overdue for getting her pacemaker checked and my Dr. will not refill the prescription I have to take for lupus unless I come in for an office visit. Not to mention the fact that the girls are constantly growing and in need of new shoes and clothes. The phrase, "we can't afford that right now" has become common place in our home.

Tonight I was informed that a classmate of Savannah's, an 11 year old girl, was killed in a car accident yesterday. Her parents have been left without their little girl. Life is short, it is so very much more than what we have or don't have, what we can or can not afford. It is about how we spend our time, our love and ourselves.

On Mother's Day this year it was just me and my girls at home. I awoke to 3 of the happiest faces. They had each drawn me a picture and could not wait to give it to me. I came downstairs to find that the 3 of them had made a big banner listing all of the things they love about me and hung it up in the kitchen. On the table were several wrapped gifts...inside these gifts I found a "quilt" made of squares of wrapping paper that Cassidy had taped together, 2 skateboard wheels, a bouquet of flowers made out of tissue paper, a tile with Payton's hand print and a ladybug magnet. Nothing there had cost them any money, but was given with so much love that there was nothing in the world I would have rather received.

Today Cassidy said to me, "Mom, I wish we were rich!" To which I replied, "That would be nice, there are so many things we could do! But you know what Cassidy, we don't need money to be happy. In fact, I am very happy even though we don't have a lot of money." Cassidy said, "Me too, because we are together and we have our family and that is all I need!"

Tonight I will go upstairs, read a chapter of The Brother's Lionheart (a VERY good book) to my 3 little ladies, tuck them in, give them a kiss and go to bed happy. I have all I need right here in this house.

Don't Worry...I'm Not Giving Up On My Blog

Sorry for the long absence...the last couple of months have been insanely stressful and I have not felt like being funny and I am done with the depressing posts....so I took a break.

I'm still here...and I've got lots to say!! Stay tuned.

How To Spend Money 101

Aimee's top 10 wants/needs:

1. Personal Training Certification, I've been putting this one on hold for a while and would really like to get going on it.


2. Rosetta Stone I've been using a free online program...but I really need this one.


3. Solo trip to Europe. Yep, just me, myself and I.


4. I found this bike yesterday...and I need it.



5. A new pair of running shoes. Mine are 2 years old and in bad shape.



6. Roller Skates for the beach this summer




7. A whole new wardrobe... Pants, Tops, Dresses, Shoes, Bathing Suits, Accessories, Workout Clothes, Under Things...my girls and I need it all.


8. To finally get the circulation issue in these stupid legs taken care of...It would be SO wonderful to not have swollen, painful, itchy, black and blue legs anymore. It's only $5000!


9. To go to The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York.


10. Happiness, I can't buy that one.

I Love Food

I seriously love food. I don't know how in the world I will ever make it as a nutritionist....I love food too much. On Saturday night we went with some friends to Allies Tapas and Wine Bar. I seriously don't know what took us so long to go there...I had NO idea how amazingly good it was. I have never had Tapas before... we were told they are not your traditional Spanish Tapas place, they have more of a Mediterranean flair. Tapas, is basically small bites...and that is exactly what this place was. Each plate came with just enough for all 4 of us to taste...and it was ALL so good. There was not one thing that I did not like, and we tried A LOT of different things....from Sashimi to New Zeland Lamb...we tried it all. You must go there...right now!

What's Up Chicken Butt....

First off, I actually updated my Nutrition Blog (thanks for getting on me about that Mandee!)..so check it out.

In a desperate need to get away, I headed back to Torrey Pines yesterday and had an AMAZING afternoon. In fact, I had so much fun that I found that it left me with a perma-smile for the rest of the day. It was a gorgeous, blue skies, sunny day..but somehow Torrey Pines was completely socked in with fog. To get to the hiking trail you have to walk about a mile down the beach and at about the halfway point I noticed that I was completely alone. I could not see anyone ahead or behind me and all I could hear was the crashing of the waves. It was perfect. The hike up was just as peaceful, and while the fog took away the gorgeous views...it was so peaceful and quiet I didn't mind, I was in Heaven. I attempted to run up the trail..but found that I am not quite there. That is my new goal..to run all the way to the top.

On St. Patric's Day the girls (and their friend) were visited by a Leprechaun that left clue's around the house leading to a pot of gold...a box of Lucky Charms.

I think Payton was a little bummed that it wasn't a pot of candy!

Lastly, I just received this note from Savannah:
Mom, I wish I could be as neat and respectful as you. You always clean the entire house without complaining, that’s very difficult to do. You are very respectful to me, and everyone else inside and outside of our home. You know that everybody makes mistakes. Whenever you see someone make a mistake you don’t go around telling everybody. That’s what a real hero would do. You are a real hero.

Ode To Joy

One thing I have found when going through trying times is that it makes you aware and grateful for the little things in life that are always there, but, sometimes go unnoticed or even taken for granted. This morning I was going to complain about the crazy amount of laundry that I have to do, when, it dawned on me. I have clothes to wear, what is so bad about that? And it got me thinking about the things I am grateful for in life. Here are a few of them... in no particular order...

1. Laughing...I love to laugh (that video above had me cracking up!!)

2. Laundry...because it's better than having nothing to wear

3. Long lines at costco...because that means people are boosting the economy

4. Sore muscles...because that means I am healthy enough to work out

5. My house filled with old, crappy furniture...because it is filled with love (and nothing can get ruined!)

6. The 15 pounds that I've been trying to lose for 2 years now...because that means there has been lots of yummy food to eat

7. Payton's Pacemaker...because it keeps my baby alive!

8. Friends...because everyone needs a hand to hold.

9. Simple Pleasures...because they make life worth while


10. The craziness that I call life...because my days would be empty with out it

Going For A Run

I am thinking about running away.....

Busy Busy Busy

Life is crazy..never seems to sit still for even a moment. I am looking for some more crazy good times cause this crazy bad stuff stinks.

Landscape Design Specialists is no more. Ben has been running around in circles trying to keep it afloat and it just isn't going to happen in the land of foreclosures. He is now working on a new company and I haven't seen him in weeks (even though his new office is the bedroom above my office!). The stress levels are high around here as we are coming to the realization that we have no income or health insurance...and lots of bills and medical issues. Good times for sure.

The income from my little business is pathetic (although I won't complain as it is something!). I didn't go into it for the money, that is for sure. When I first started going down the nutrition path the extra income I was looking forward to making was supposed to get me a house cleaner... maybe some shopping money, that so is not going to happen now. Getting this business up and running is quite a bit more stressful than I imagined as there is just so much ground work to cover. Friday was an extremely stressful day for me as I was meeting 4 clients with entirely different needs and I felt completely unprepared. In the end (after an 11 hour day) it went very well and I was really happy with how each of them are doing...I think I just need to gain a bit more confidence and it will all feel much easier.

Sunday afternoon I took the girls to hike at Torrey Pines in Del Mar. That place has quickly become one of my top spots to go to unwind. Just the thought of it brings a smile to my face. I have found myself there a few times over the last couple of months just to sit on the beach and unwind from all the stress of life. I think the girls would have been happy to just sit on the beach, but I made them hike up to the top...and it would be safe to say they did not enjoy that part of it. I am definitely going alone next time!

What Was I Thinking?

I have been moping around the house for a year now complaining that I want to work, and that I hate being a house wife and that my life has no meaning and I'm bored and I don't want to cook, clean, do laundry or run errands ever again. I now have a 4 new clients. I am meeting with all of them tomorrow. I have had 2 weeks to prepare. OK, I was sick for most of that time...I started to feel better on Tuesday...so lets say I've had 3 days to prepare. 3 WHOLE days. I did a little research here and there, checked facebook statuses, typed up a few reports, played Word Challenge, made notes, played Bejewelled, organized my notes, thought about laying out because I am pasty white...reorganized my notes...went for a run...stared at my notes....went and got a spray on tan...thought about studying... checked facebook again.....I had 3 days to prepare ...and here it is 7:15 on Thursday night and I have yet to seriously get down to business. My house is clean, the laundry is done, dinner made, eaten and cleaned up, errands run, .... All the things I've had a hard time accomplishing for the last few months now seem like a joy. What was I complaining about? I seriously don't think I can work for myself. I need a boss. I need to be told what to do. I need a facebook block on my computer between the hours of 9:00 and 5:00. I need to get to work.....right after I check on my fb peeps.

Awesomiasized

Email From Cassidy

I recently opened Cassidy an email account and she is loving it. I just received this one from her today....

Thanck you. We nead to work on spelling.

The Bug Is Going Down

This is my new best friend, and my ENTIRE house is getting doused in it today. My lupus flare is staying on the back burner and I'm still crossing my fingers I don't have to call my Dr about it. That crazy bug knocked me down good and just when I thought it was over it knocked me down again. I'm still not feeling great but feel the need to get it out of here for good. I know without a doubt it won't survive when I'm done cleaning today...with the amount of bleach I'm using I don't know if any of us will.

Back In The Sadle Again

I have to apologize for abandoning my blog....what started out as stupid lupus hips turned into a stupid lupus flare and during said flare I caught some ridiculous bug that didn't want to go away. I think I am on the mend...but wow what an adventure that was!! I am still waiting to get some brain function back...but I may be stuck with what little I've got left.

In an attempt to fill you in on what has been happening here in the Raisor home here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks.....

Cassidy doing her report on Barack Obama

Daddy Daughter Dance

Valentine's Day walk around the lake

feeding the ducks with some of our neighbors

the neighborhood crew

Valentine's Day Cupcakes for our friends

Scooters ride to the lake and park

feeding the ducks again....

me beating Ben in Smashball

and last but not least...my newest attempt at a cartwheel. Almost there!

Rainy Day Blahs

Once again I have the blahs...this rain has me down and my hips are killing me...stupid Lupus hips. Not much new happening in the Raisor family.

We celebrated Savannah's 11th Birthday last week, I can't believe my baby is 11! She could not make up her mind on what Birthday treat she wanted me to make...so we ended up just picking up a cheesecake at costco..silly girl.

Happy Birthday Savannah

Last week was full of sick kids and school projects...

Jake was taking care of Payton for me

Savannah working on her Tornado project

Ben helping Cassidy on her Obama project

While I was making this yummy Chicken Tortilla Soup

Here is a recipe for a crazy good, super easy soup that my entire family loves...

Chicken (or Turkey) Tortilla Soup

1 tbs olive oil
1 onion, chopped
3 small zucchini
1 (4 oz) can chopped green chilies, drained
1 tsp chili powder
1 tbs cumin
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
6 cups water
6 chicken flavored bouillon cubes
1 (10 oz) can tomatoes with green chilies (Ro*Tel)
2 cups cooked chicken/turkey breast, cut into bite size pieces (I used a rotiserie chicken from supermarket)
1 cup frozen corn, thawed
1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Monterey Jack cheese
Avocado
Tortilla Chips

Heat oil in large saucepan over medium low heat. Add onion and zucchini and cook 4 minutes. Add green chilies, chili powder, cumin, garlic, oregano, and cayenne pepper. Cook and stir 1 minute. Sit in water, bouillon and tomatoes with green chilies. Bring to a boil. Add chicken and simmer 3 minutes. Add corn and simmer 1 minute. Stir in cilantro. Ladle soup into bowls. Sprinkle each with cheese and top with sliced avocado and chips.

Not A Thing

Nope, nothing to say. Crazy, eh?

I Heart Cupcakes

I have always loved cupcakes...there is just something so perfect about them...
a single serving of yumminess.

I am quite sure I have blogged about cupcakes in the past, but the recent Martha Stewart magazine had an article about cupcakes that got me thinking...it's time to make some more.

Here are a few shots of my favorite cupcakes....

This is me trying my very first (and last) Sprinkles Cupcake

Savannah's 9th Birthday cupcakes

mmmm...cupcakes....

Here are some of Martha's....she always has to out do me!

What Now?

I have been out job hunting...and it looks like I may have some competition. Here is a list of the layoffs just this last week.....

Sprint 8000
Philips Electronics 6,000
Caterpillar 20,000
Home Depot 7,000
Pfizer 8,000
Starbucks 1,000
Williams-Sonoma 1,400
Harley Davidson 1,100
General Motors 2,000
Microsoft 5,000
Intel 6,000
United Airlines 1,000

Holy crap!!!

Such A Retard

I'm sorry I know my punctuation is all wrong and I suck at writing...I hope Lesley isn't reading this.... :D

Last Friday night (1 week ago) Ben informed me that he needed to cut weight for the Jiu Jitsu Tournament on the following Saturday. He had to weigh in on Friday morning meaning he had 6 days to lose 15 pounds.

Ben said, "I'm at 185 and I am signing up for the 170 group."

To which I replied, "You are so retarded. Cutting weight is dangerous and bad for your body and you will just be weak for the competition, retard."

Ben said, "Make me a nutrition plan and I will follow it...make it so I don't get weak."

I said, "You told me last time you did this that you never wanted to cut weight again, that you would just go in the higher weight class."

Ben said, "Just do it wench."

So I wrote out a list of meals that he could chose from and told him to eat 6 times a day and drink 2 gallons of water a day and to take fish oil and CLA and a multi vitamin along with some more supplements and herbs..... and then I went grocery shopping and I marinated and grilled some chicken and boiled some eggs and baked some sweet potatoes and chopped up broccoli and celery and cooked a pot of brown rice and a pot of quinoa and made a batch of turkey meatballs.

The next day...

Ben said, "What should I eat?"

I said, "Look on the list and pick any of them...."

Ben said, "You need to tell me exactly what to eat and when."

So I made a daily menu for him to follow.

Ben said, "I don't think you know what you are doing...I'm eating too much."

I said, "You are retarded, do what I tell you to do."

Ben did as I said and as of his weigh in Friday morning he weighed 170 pounds. That day I put him on an eating schedule where he had to eat every 30 minutes and drink insane amounts of water and by Saturday morning he was back up to 180 pounds and ready to fight.

He lost his 2nd match in over time and declared, "I think cutting weight made me weak, I don't think I should do it again."

Retard.


In other news....
It was Savannah's 1st tournament. She did AWESOME. She should have been in the 9-10 year old under 75lbs weight class. She got put in the 10-11 year old under 85. Her first match was against a boy that was older, bigger and stronger. But she freaking held her own as long as she could. Ben happened to be in a match at the EXACT moment of Savannah's...and their coach went with Ben leaving Savannah on the mat on her own. I felt so bad for her without anyone in her corner... she did all she knew how to do and lost. She immediately broke into tears and came running over to me...and I just held her and told her how proud of her I was and held back my own tears. This girl is amazing and I absolutely love her.



Here is a video of her match....I was filming... taking pictures with another camera...cheering her on...trying to watch...and had Payton and Cassidy hanging on my arms. It is a bit shaky. :)

Savannah with Carlson Gracie...her head coach. His grandfather is the father of Jiu Jitsu

Ben after losing his 2nd match in over time

Savannah rocking the mats

Not Really Worth Blogging About But I'm Bored

It has been a long long day and I really should have gone to bed hours ago as I am exhausted but I decided to stay up after everyone went to bed so that I could get more done...but all I've done is sit and stare at my computer. Between the hours of 9:00 and 3:00 today I worked like crazy to get through my to-do list... I got a lot done but didn't quite get through the whole thing. After school the girls and 2 friends all headed out to jump on the trampoline in the rain. They came in soaking wet and exhausted... after showers I had them all get cozy in the family room and watch Wall-e in front of the fire eating popcorn while I baked chocolate chip cookies. It was a great afternoon...very warm and cozy....and I was in the best mood. Then we lost Coal...we searched the house top to bottom for about 30 minutes...I was panicking (I can't tell you how much I love that cat) and minute by minute I got closer and closer to losing it. I went into my bedroom and was preparing to plop on my bed and sob...I pulled back the blankets and there he was...all snuggled up...I don't know what I would have done if he was gone. But that did it...I was no longer in a good mood...I was grumpy and really not a lot of fun to be around. My entire family went to bed at 9:00...and I should have, but I decided to stay up and be grumpy a bit longer. Coal still loves me. The End.

Crazy

Life is crazy. And it turns out crazy can be pretty good...really very good.

She's A Poet And She Knows It

For Christmas Savannah wrote and illustrated a book of poetry for Ben and I...and I was blown away. Savannah has a true gift with words. When she showed the book to her teacher, she then had Savannah read the poems to the Principle.

Here is a sample of her poems:

How do I love you? Let me count the ways....

My love for you is wider than the sun's brilliant rays stretching out to hug the newborn flower.

My love for you is deeper than the middle of the dark blue ocean.

My love for you is greater than the amount of sand along the coastline of California.

My love for you is higher than Olympus Mons stretching above the high clouds of Mars.

My love for you reaches farther than the Statue of Liberty's torch reaching for freedom.

My love for you is more beautiful than the aroma of the perfume you spray every morning.

I love you more than words can say but with all my heart.


Savannah

My skin is as tan as the mud a tractor picks up everyday.

My eyes as clear as the blue sky above me today.

My hands are as clean as the pure water flooding out of a sink in my bathroom.

My legs are as long as two rulers I use to make strait lines daily.

My heart is as strong like a body builder with huge muscles.

My voice is as loud as a lions roar that can be heard from miles away.

My smile is as happy as the large crescent moon.


Christmas

Crinkle, crinkle...I carefully unwrap the stiff, colorful package of PJ's on Christmas eve.
Suddenly, the sound of sleigh bells are in my ear.
I race outside faster than a marathon runner trying to win a world record and see the brilliant stars twinkling above me.
Then, I smell the sweet aroma of the Christmas tree and peppermint.
Being called, I skipped to the kitchen and couldn't get enough of Moms sugar cookies.


My wish for you

I wish for you to find laughter and happiness in everything you do so life is not boring,

To have fun at work because if you are working all day, you might as well have fun,

Joyous days to remember when at older an age,

A strong and healthy heart to help you live a long and happy life.

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year to remember all your life.


Merrry Christmas

Magnificent meals of eggs, sausage, and cinnamon rolls served.
Every bite of the delightful sugar cookies slowly melts in my mouth.
Reaching for the top of the tree to place the twinkling star.
Reacting odd to the fab presents being opened, my dog did a silly dance.
Yearly, fun Christmas puzzles for the family to work on together.

Chocolate candies calling my name like a lost woman in Georgia.
Holly and mistletoe hanging over the best parents in the universe.
Really awesome games ot be played at the kitchen table.
In front of the fire everyone layed, resting from a big day.
Startling on the loud one's the fire popped an crackled on a great day
The night before Christmas one colorful present is revealed of comfy PJ's.
Many marvelous presents stacked under the smelly pine tree..
Always the aroma of peppermint candles burning througout the house.
Said the man in the red suit, "Merry Chrismas to all, and to all a good night!"

Nutrition Update

I updated my nutrition blog...check it out. I am in need of some volunteers for a free nutrition plan. Requirements: writing down everything you eat for AT LEAST 4 days. That is it. Let me know.

1 Week On...1 Week Off

This must be my off week. I have noticed a pattern in my life. For a few days I will be motivated and gung ho and ready to take on the world....and then I will be tired and grumpy and just sit and stare at the lists I made and wonder where I can find the motivation to get going. Up and down up and down. Today is down.

Last week I was introduced to Bikram Yoga.... 90 minutes of yoga in a 108 degree room...talk about sweat! I thought the heat would be oppressive but it actually allowed you to move...and sweat...and relax. Bikram is a series of 26 poses that you go through, each one benefiting a different organ or muscle. It isn't so much of a work out as it is a state of mind...by the end of class I was bendier than I've ever been and my head was clear and I felt as though I could take on the world. The day after the class is the the day I took on my house...I was literally bouncing off the walls. I am going again tonight in an attempt to regain that insane energy.

My Life As A Personal Assistant

Rise and Shine.... Breakfast time

Coffee & Facebook....now my day can start

Line em up...Hair time is a particular favorite for these 2

Lunch for 3...coming right up

Off you go...Have a great day!!

What is on the agenda today...

I will start right here....

A great little machine my family has yet to recognize

Yoga time and a stop at the grocery store

Greens and Whey and Facebook...before I get going again

Off to work I go

2 bathrooms down...1 to go

mmmm....so shiny

Lunch break....Hummus, Cucumber and Blackberries

I ignored my mail and paperwork for 3 weeks...not a good idea

Not great but getting there..at least I have work space

Picking up the carpool

Another mess I've been ignoring that needs my attention

Much better

Homework time

Preparing dinner....Chicken breasts stuffed with Spinach, Sun Dried Tomatoes & Feta

Picking up the Jiu Jitsu monkeys

Time to eat

How was your day girls?

Dishes...I'm wearing down

Story time...Great reading Cassidy

Showers and into Bed the 3 little ladies go...

Time to fold laundry....

2009....But I'm Not Ready

I have not set any resolutions for this year...I'm afraid of not following through. I know that in order to make changes that last it must be done slowly, 1 0r 2 things at a time. Like I've said before I tend to be a little gung ho and fizz out early...not what I'm looking for right now. I want to make some changes to better myself and I want them to stick. I made a comment on my facebook about wanting to get my act together and a friend commented back that, 'in certain circles "your act" is not a good thing, & is to be "gotten over" or "let go of," not gotten together'. This year my plan is to let go of the act and find a way to better myself for me and my family....and to just be happy.

Some of the changes I am looking to make (I'm sure I have posted these before..see #3) :

*Stop procrastinating (is that even possible?)

*Get organized (office, garage, life)

*Follow through (I rarely finish anything I start)

*Be Positive more often (I'm a big time whiner)

Happy 8th Birthday Cassidy

Happy Birthday to the sweetest 8 year old out there. Thank you for being such a loving and happy girl. We love you Cassidy!!

A Case Of The Grumps

There is seriously something wrong with me, I can't seem to get rid of the grumps. I don't feel like being nice or smiling or doing any one of the twenty million things I need to do today. It could be this stupid cold that came on at the worst possible time, what is up with that? Not that there is ever a good time to be sick..but seriously? Why now? I do feel bad for anyone that has to be around me today, I honestly can't think of a nice thought to save my life. Lucky for them I have completely lost my voice.

The Greatest Gifts Come From The Heart

Christmas 2008

On Christmas Eve as we sat around reading our Christmas stories in front of the fire Cassidy said, "I don't need any presents for Christmas, I have all I want right here." It was so sweet and I knew that I had gotten my "Christmas is not about presents" message across to her...I was so relieved because presents were scarce this year. On Christmas morning all 3 declared that it was the best Christmas ever...I seriously have the greatest kids in the world.

Savannah hand sewed each Payton and Cassidy a purse and gave Payton one of her favorite stuffed animals. Cassidy and Payton each wrapped up one of their stuffed animals for me and Cassidy made me a beaded bracelet. Cassidy gave Ben a coupon for a daddy daughter date and Savannah made Ben and I an amazing book of poetry. Without a doubt these were the best gifts of the day.

It was pouring rain outside so we spent the day together in the house...doing puzzles, watching A Christmas Story, fighting over the cat and riding scooters around the kitchen. My parents and Heather and her family came over for dinner and a round of Speed Scrabble (the greatest game ever!) and we made a video call to both of my brothers...Skype is so freaking cool!

Updated

I finally got my photo blog up to date and was sad to find that I am missing a weeks worth of photos...I must have deleted them by mistake. I am so sad, I don't even know what I lost! Oh well...there are lots of holes in the month of December, but I did my best.

Baking Day

I haven't done big time Christmas baking in years..it was time.


I stood by and let the girls go, the did the measuing, mixing and for the most part we had a good time in the kitchen. I only had to have a time out twice.



They did the cutting and decorating...see, I am getting better! They turned out a complete mess but the girls (and a neighbor friend) had a great time and that is all that really matters.



We made sugar cookies, peppermint bark, english toffee and cookie bars.



I loaded it all up on plates and we set off to deliver.

Stress Reduction

This is coming in handy today

Cold And Wet

It is cold and wet and rainy and I refuse to get dressed or go anywhere. I lucked out today as my Mother in law picks the kids up on Wednesday and takes them to her house for the afternoon so I didn't have to go out in the pouring rain and get them. I am attempting to get some work done at home and that is not going so well as there are so many other things that need to be done around here such as, checking on everybody's facebook status...updating mine...eating candy while I sit on my large arse and think about how I didn't go to the gym...chatting with friends...all the important things.

Snippets

I got to hang out with my adorable nephew this week, I wish my girls were still this age. I miss the baby years.

I have become ridiculously clumsy lately. There was the fall in order to save the decoration that left me with a huge bruise on my knee and elbow...the hip one never showed up although it sure felt bruised. The other night I walked into the corner of a shelving unit in my bedroom and got an instant bump on my forehead. It seems each day I have a new bruise somewhere...whats up with that?

The other night Savannah was watching TV when something got into her eye. She was screaming and running towards me and her eye was clamped shut. When I tried to open her eye she started smacking my hands away so I had to pin her to the wall and force her eye open. I noticed something on her eyelash and picked it up...it was an ant.

On Wednesday I went to San Diego to do some shopping at Fashion Valley....all alone. It is so rare that I actually get to spend the day shopping without kids or husbands to touch everything or rush me. It was wonderful. I found myself smiling the entire day as I took my time and got to go into every store that I wanted and stay as long as I wanted. I even took the time to figure out the ever important question, Which store smells better...Ruehl or Abercromie? It was Ruehl hands down.

Wednesday marked the start and finish of my Christmas shopping. It took me all day, but I did it..and I am DONE!! The girls have already been warned that it will be a small Christmas and after the ease of shopping this year I'm thinking it should stay that way each year. They are all getting a scooter, a book and 1 kitten to share. I don't think I have ever spent so little for Christmas! Love it!!

The girls all got a pair of roller skates from Grandpas Sikoki & Richard on Saturday night and they have been wearing them ever since. They were out skating the entire day yesterday and wore them over to Grandma Peggy's for dinner. I was sad that I didn't have my camera to get a picture of them wearing them at the dinner table, it made me laugh.

We had our annual Gingerbread house Christmas Party Chinese style on Saturday night at Richard & Sikoki's. Richard made an elaborate 6 course Chinese meal that was suberb. Well done Richard. The girls and I all decorated one of Sikoki's beautifully made Gingerbread houses and we had a gift exchange and played the chimes. It was a great night.

It Is Done

I read a blog entry from last year where I stated that I was, "really excited about Christmas this year...." amazing how we change from year to year. I am with Richard and will gladly sign his petition to celebrate Christmas every other year. But...I did what I said I would do. The girls and I spent a few hours tonight getting in the spirit, and for the most part it was fun. Last year I put the kids to bed and decorated the entire house, including the tree, without them. They woke up and sobbed for hours. This year I let them go at it, they did it all by themselves and it looks great! We listened to Christmas music and had a fire going and we made our cookies. All was well until I slipped and in a effort to save a stupid ceramic decoration in my hands I ate it hard on my left side...yep, I fell. I will have a gorgeous bruise on my left hip tomorrow...but the good news is that I did in fact save the stupid piece of crap decoration that was in my hands.






And here, for all of you with nothing better to do, is a tour of our newly decorate winter wonderland......

Not Feeling It

I have no desire to decorate for Christmas..none at all. I was hoping as December neared that it would just happen, but it didn't. Now we are in the 2nd week of December and not only have I not decorated, I did not do Christmas cards (a first in 13 years). On top of that I have not begun Christmas shopping. Not only have I not begun Christmas shopping I have not even thought about what to get for anybody. Not only have I not thought about what to get anybody, I have no money to buy anything anyway. We went to a production of A Christmas Carol last week, and I thought it would change my mind, but it did not. I told the kids that this Christmas they will only be getting 1 gift and explained that the best part of Christmas is not the gifts, its the traditions and being together as a family. They agreed and seemed ok with that but I need to change my attitude or I will ruin it for them.

So, today we will be decorating the tree that my parents gave us (Thank you Mom & Dad) and I will smile and sing Christmas Carols (I have not heard 1 Christmas Carol yet...what a Grinch)...and make cookies and build a fire as it is FINALLY cold enough to do that and hang with my girls. I can do it.

Thanksgiving 2008

On Wednesday the girls and I baked the pies...

Pumpkin, Apple & Pecan

Thursday morning found me crying into the onions...those things were strong!!

We had Ben's mom, her husband & Luke & Brandon over for dinner

The aftermath.....

Ben quickly fell asleep and Brandon went to work on decorating him...

Brandon & Payton

Savannah wrote a song and choreographed a dance for the girls to perform

and we finished the day off with a little Rock Band action...

Photo Shoot

One of the things I have been wanting to work on for some time now is photography. It has been far too long since I've picked up the camera for something other than a snapshot...and like everything else in life when you don't practice you lose your skills. I know they are in there somewhere, it will just take time to get them back.

I am dying to get into a photoshop course, I had no idea how much you can do with it. Back when I took my class 8 years ago, we used film...and I learned about filters and lighting...now you do all of that AFTER with photoshop. It is fascinating!


So...for this shoot I took the girls over to Old Town here in Temecula...Payton was mad because she didn't want to wear boots...and she wanted her sweater on. Cassidy was mad because she was cold...and Savannah was mad because she picked out the perfect purse to carry and I said no purse....so it didn't get off to a great start. We stepped out of the car and found that we were in the middle of a pretty intense wind storm...instantly ruining their hair.


This was my first shot....

Let me tell you..it was good times... at this point I went up to Payton and told her if she didn't smile I would leave her in Old Town...yeah, nice I know....but it worked. These are the only shots that turned out. I tried editing a few with my crappy photo editing software but I know I could do so much more with Photoshop!! Once of these days I will figure it out...

So I Was Wrong....

What I thought was a lovely layer of fat turned out to be swelling and water retention from kidney issues...kidney stones to be exact. I was in pain yesterday...dizzy, nauseous...but it never got too bad...and I actually feel fine today. I don't know if I am good or if that was just the beginning. I get to wait and see. Fun times I tell you, fun times.

40 Things You Never Really Wanted To Know About Me

8 TV Shows I Watch:

1. The Office
2. Entourage
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Burn Notice
5. So You Think You Can Dance
6. Project Runway
7. Arrested Development...no longer on but the best show ever
8. Fringe

8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
1. Went to City Bagel and had a pumpkin bagel
2. Cleaned all 3 bathrooms
3. Did laundry
4. Had a big blow out argument with Ben
5. Planned out meals for the week
6. Went grocery shopping
7. Made Chicken Tortilla Soup and a super yummy treat for dessert
8. Tried to catch up on Grey's...I'm about 6 weeks behind

8 Favorite Places to Eat:
1. Harry's
2. The Pub House
3. Any Mexican food
4. Any Greek food...love Daphne's
5. Sushi/Japanese
6. Monsoon -Indian Restaurant in San Diego
7. Panera
8. Chipotle

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. World domination in Geo Challenge ...It will be mine!
2. Figuring out how to be a lot less grumpy
3. Earning money
4. The Holiday season being over...Bah Humbug
5. My trip to Europe in July 2010
6. Getting blood circulation back in my legs
7. The Economy to recover
8. For all my wishes to come true

8 Things on My Wishlist:
1. To quit being afraid of doing nutrition counseling.
2. To be able to motivate myself and accomplish what I set out to do.
3. To be a better photographer
4. To learn a new language
5. To be able to accept my body for what it is and stop complaining about it.
6. To no longer be socially retarded
7. To be better organized
8. A cure for Lupus

8 Tagged People
1. I dare you to do it

It's Just One Of Those Years

Have you ever had one of those day's where nothing seems to go right....you are grumpy and tired and just can't quite catch up or get anything done and you stub your toe? Yeah...it's been one of those years.

Just as I feel that I'm gaining speed and getting on top and things are going to work out I wake up the next morning back at the bottom. I think I will wear a few pairs of socks today, might as well protect my toe from the inevitable.

Festivus For The Rest Of Us

I can not believe that it is November. Not only is it November, but it is the 2nd week of November...I can't quite figure out how time is flying by so quickly. The Holiday Season is upon us, and I am not in the mood. I am thinking of boycotting this year and celebrating Festivus instead.

For those of you that don't know about Festivus....here is a brief outline.


The Festivus Pole
The tradition begins with a bare aluminum pole, which Frank praises for its "very high strength-to-weight ratio." During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed, apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, and because the holiday's creator, Frank Costanza, "finds tinsel distracting." Local customs vary and you may be able to decorate your pole with non-threatening plain decorations, or ordinary green garland.

The Airing of Grievances
At the Festivus dinner -- a meal featuring non-holiday comfort food -- each participant tells friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

The Feats of Strength
The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.

So, if you are interested I say lets have one great big Festivus celebration...the Airing of Grievances sounds like it could be loads of fun.

Halloween 2008

Me & the girls at the Pumpkin Patch. It was crazy sock day and we went straight from school. We ended up leaving because all the pumpkins were moldy and WAY over priced. We found great pumpkins for $3.49 each at Trader Joes!

They each did their own, and they all did a fabulous job.

Savannah's, Cassidy's, Aimee's, Aimee's, Payton's & Savannah's

Little Red Riding Hood, Gabriella (HSM) & Vampire

Ben's pimp shoes (those are red goldfish in the heels)

One of our neighbors put up this movie screen at the end of the street and played Halloween movies all night. It was pretty cool.

My friend did my Cleopatra Eyes...with all that make-up and those lashes it was
hard to open my eyes!

Real Life Musical

When I took the girls to see High School Musical over the weekend I thought of how much Josh hates musicals..he just can't see people in real life breaking into song and choreographed dance. Which reminded me of this video...enjoy Josh!

What The Freak?

It is October 27 and it is 95 degrees outside. 9fricken5 degrees! What is going on here? It is almost November and my girls are still wearing their summer clothes to school. I am in Fall mode, using the oven..baking....trying to pretend it isn't so hot outside. Yesterday I made a roast for dinner and then made peanut butter cookies (which were so, so yummy) and having the oven on for so long made the house SO crazy hot we had to turn on the air.....I want to build a fire in the fire place and put on my sweats and get cozy under a blanket....but that is so not going to happen. Instead we are wearing shorts and t-shirts and trying to stay cool, what's up with that?